A Few Malihinis: January

Day-after-birthday cake.

Celebrating with Milly, Kate's Utah bestie. We drove to Hanalei to hang with her and surf/boogie for three straight days.

We didn't quench our birthday thirst with that cake and invited a bunch of teens over for a game night and celebration for Zachary's 15th. He was in so much pain but it was so nice having a bunch of kids to take his mind off of it.

The next night, David and Jojo came to celebrate Zachary's birthday at Bubba's, Lapperts, and then here to play games. I love these kindergarten besties and plan to attend all their major events in life. They spent the evening working on Zac to move schools and join them at Kaua'i High.

8 months ago, Zachary planned this board and was so happy to receive it on his birthday. He loves it and I'm pretty sure that to-date, he is still way to nervous to use it. It is pretty and pretty fancy.

Zachary is the characteristics Kate listed: a beach boy, smart, athletic, musical, fun. He loves his dog fiercely. He is well-liked at school and on his teams. Freshman year has been one of stretch and challenge for him and for us as parents. So far, this stretch and challenge has led to many discussions and more openness, as well as plenty of sleepless nights. It's hard to the be oldest kid. I know. He knows. It's hard to navigate independence and home responsibility. It's hard to know how much to push and encourage. What is not hard is our feelings for him throughout all these changes. We love this kid with our whole hearts. We believe in him and his ability to influence and love and build up and work. And play. He is so good at play and it is one of our favorite things about him.

Happy 15th, Zachary! We love you, we love you, we love you!

Owen was excited to spend his own money on a shirt for Zac.

Baseball season going strong, so many days every week.

The first Sunday back at church, I lost Kate to Young Womenʻs. Iʻll miss having her play the songs in primary but she has a solid group of girls in her new program.

Sure love this group of youth.

Aniyah and Asia come over every time their mom cleans down the road and they are the world's best spontaneous playdates.

They spent much of the afternoon choreographing this skate routine.

The Clarks bought Owen a stuffed dino for his birthday and that dino went with him everywhere.

Kate and Summer re-emerge with Oweena.

We jumped at the chance to hike Nualolo Trail with Clarks and picked a perfect day for the adventure.

January brought the weekly walk with friends on Sunday evenings. We almost never miss and the kids are much more willing to walk, or climb, now.

We have so many leashes yet somehow, I had several days without one. Turns out there are many things that work, including surf ties.

Zachary's soccer team made it to the state tournament on Oahu. We did not initially plan to attend--he had missed nearly the entire season with his broken collar bone and it seemed doubtful he would play even one minute. However, we got multiple phone calls on day 1. While Willis was on the phone with Brady yelling that Zac just scored a goal, he exclaimed, "AGAIN! He just got another one!" He was freaking out. Brady bought a ticket and took off to watch the rest of the tourney. His team ended up finishing 4th.

So happy that even though his season was interrupted, he still had this experience.

Another Sunday, another walk.

Kate's goal was to make her splits by her birthday. She is inching closer!

Daddy Daughter Dance that Kate worked so hard on as a new leader in YW. I love these girls and their supportive fathers. They had one girl without a parent able to attend, and the dads stepped up and made her feel like gold.

Baby Kate, Baby Brady.

January was the season of intense moving discussions. It is overwhelming to write about and I have avoided blogging because of it. We felt so strongly it was time to move. It was time to be closer to family. It was time to get our kids groups of kids that live closer. (Every playdate here is a struggle and every activity requires so much driving.) It was definitely time for better schools. It was time for new adventures--weekend camping trips in the mountains, mountain biking, skiing, snow shoeing, exploring. I was so angry about it initially because I thought we would never leave and this is my home. But I felt it, too, and I was on board. Every night, Brady and I talked for a straight hour, walking the dog in the dark so we could have privacy away from the kids. There was no way we wanted to let the kids know our plan until it was set. In the meantime, we prepared our house for sale, washing windows, deep cleaning, fixing outdoor stairs and siding, repainting areas that were "Kauaified," etc. We spent every minute of "free time" occupied. We told the kids we were selling, and they knew that it was likely we would purchase a lot and build again. Brady requested a work transfer and it was granted. We bought a lot in Utah and signed contracts to build. It felt right, but we certainly had concerns--was this really a step we wanted to take? Were we really ready to leave our community? Did we think the grass was greener for our children but really setting them up for an unnecessarily competitive/intense environment? Was Brady's job going to be a disaster?

We knew it was a possibility his job would be a resort in Jordanelle. After so many years working for Layton, we thought his request to avoid such a long commute would be granted. HR and his new boss seemed to understand initially, but when he was pushed back for final discussions on the transfer, and then told he would be on Jordanelle a month later, we took three steps back and reevaluated. Brady was willing to do this if it needed to happen but it would be a job similar to the 1 Hotel. Aside from the long commute, it was a project wrought with conflict from the start. I was unwilling to watch Brady go through that, especially for a 4-year project. So on our next nightly walks and every single text and conversation in between, we reanalyzed and settled on staying in Kaua'i. It was a spin cycle in the washing machine and we came out feeling wrung out and a little banged up.

In between these months of planning, we showed the house. It was pocket listed by our agent, and we had some bites but no commitments.

I took this photo on a day I felt especially sad about leaving Kaua'i.

While going through this process, we kept a tight lid on our plans. Brady's work had to know, and of course when one person knows, it leaks despite claims to keep your secret. That was disheartening but expected. We also kept it from the kids. It seemed wrong to tell them we were leaving and get their hopes up, just in case things didn't swing out the way we planned. Kate especially struggles with disappointment and we didn't want to break her heart. The biggest reason for the secret was to help them maintain normal friendships and their drive to do well in their activities and school. We did not want them checking out, knowing they would be here only 6 more months. About 8 days before we changed our minds and committed to stay in Kaua'i, Zachary asked us directly if we planned to move. We opened up and explained to him our plans. He was devastated and the came around to the possibility within a couple days. It was a struggle for him to know something that wasn't certain--we had multiple texts a day from him, asking about news and updates. Of course this was a huge challenge for him; this is his childhood home and he has not experienced anything different. He is invested in the community the same way we are, but without the confidence of prior moves that prove resilience, new friendships, and often positive changes.

In between all these life-changing conversations, we had plenty of normal. Playdates, so much baseball, piano, school, more school, and even a plank challenge.

I remember my grandma drinking pickle juice.

Kate worked so hard to study for the district spelling bee. This year, we told her when she won the school bee that if she studied every day for 20 minutes, she would earn a pair of Nikes. This was plenty of motivation for the first month, but as soon as we hit Christmas vacation, it was a challenge to keep her going. More than once, we told her the challenge was off--we didn't want to be the drivers of this goal--but she came around right away and kept up her studying with us. I absolutely love studying for spelling bees--my spelling improves and I love listening to her memorize words. She is so good at memorizing! The spelling bee list for district was 20 pages long with complex words, and she worked through much of it with Brady in the morning or me in the afternoon. We missed about 4 days over the nearly three months but she made up every minute from those missed sessions. Writing about it now, I say it was a raging success but at the time, it felt like we were the ones pushing it the second half and Nikes were simply not motivating enough. These are pretty stellar shoes, though.

The day of the bee finally arrived. Brady was at the state soccer tournament, I had a work commitment, and the bee was originally a different date so there was plenty of scrambling. Kate almost seemed mad about competing and told me to have no expectations. I told her again and again that all I cared about was that she worked hard in preparation.

Owen was a champ, sitting quietly and making shapes/reading for the nearly 2 hour event.

Kate was so confident and composed. She went 12 rounds without any trouble--spelling words from the more difficult lists with ease. Her trouble came when they started asking the easier words--a much different experience from last year's districts. There was about 7 kids left when they made this move and as soon as I saw where they were on the lists, I knew Kate might be in trouble. We spent very little time on the easier lists after last year's experience. She made it through a few more rounds, and then received the word (CAN'T REMEMBER!). I heard them ask her the word and knew instantly she would miss--it was not one we really covered. When she incorrectly spelled, she sat down with composure. She was 4th place, so missed going to state.

After a few minutes sitting by me, she said, "Mom, I HAVE to do this next year." She also said, "I'm proud of myself."

Me too, baby.

We celebrated with sushi and ramen at Monster Sushi.

Happy smiles from my nearly-always-happy girl:

Happy smiles from my kid who claims he wants to play "processional baseball."

Soccer stared mid-baseball season and nearly killed me off. Soccer had been going for 6 weeks when baseball ended.

His BFF, Kelly, comes over a couple days a week and they come up with ways to have wars, play games, and bounce on the trampoline.

100 Days of School! Rather than Pinterest, I asked O to choose his shirt design and he wanted stickers. They obviously would not stay on, so we secured it with shipping tape and he didn't lose a single emoji.

Zachary was so disappointed to miss the piano recital while he was at the state soccer tourney in Oahu. (Read: sarcasm) Owen played in his first recital and handled the pressure with composure. Kate walked up like a boss, showing O how it is done.

So lucky to have a middle school friend/example like Naomi--an accomplished musician, student, and ballerina who also happens to be a kind and loyal friend to Kate.

Kate saved money for Utah and did not spent much, so she used everything she had to purchase new dance leotards. She also does her own dance buns and now only needs me for rides. ;)

Owen's baseball season stretched on and on. His team improved drastically but they lost most games, which did not bother us. There were 4 Koloa teams this year, and two of those teams were led by coaches with short fuses. I heard kids berated for missing a play and felt lucky that Owen had coaches who encouraged rather than yelled. At one point, they played Owen on the pitcher mound. I was so anxious for him--there is a huge gap in ability level between these kids who are 2 years older and with more seasons tucked in their tall socks, and although Owen and I played catch daily with harder throws, I knew making plays at the mound was a big ask. During that inning, he missed two plays in a row. They were plays he had the ability to intercept but in one case, fumbled the ball, and in the other, did not have his glove down fast enough and missed it. One play resulted in a run and it was a close game. It was a new season and the parents did not know each other well. I also did not have my supporter t-shirt yet, so many of the parents did not know he was my son. I expected some comments from parents--complaints the coach put him in that position, groans, etc.--because this is a more competitive league and coaches usually don't play the first year kids infield. (Also, past experience with sports has let me down quite a few times.) Nope. Several parents yelled out, "Owen! You've got this!" and "It's okay, buddy!" The very next play, he caught a pop fly and everyone freaked out. It was a powerful reminder to encourage and cheer.

Watching him practice in uniform cracked me up.

I did precancel treatment in January and it was so painful and hideous. Sadly, the patches that were scabbed up caused hyperpigmentation--especially under my eyes--so I look chronically exhausted right now.

Kate and I discovered Lawai Market açaí bowls and treated ourselves between a baseball tourney one Saturday. Kate appreciates delicious food.

Roxy loves her walks more than anything, and has our 2 mile route dialed in. If we try to turn around early, she will tug and tug on her leash, looking up with sad eyes.