I received a phone call from my Dad telling me that my Grandma Richards had 2-24 hours to live on Tuesday of last week. Several months ago when I visited her, I cried as we left, convinced it was the last time I would see her alive. Despite that closure, it was still difficult to get the news that it was her time. Wednesday afternoon, she passed away (28 hours after the phone call), and the family started discussing funeral arrangements. I was on a flight to Utah less than 24 hours later thanks to the support of Brady and several friends.
Dropping everything and taking off had pros and cons, of course. I was sad to leave behind my family--especially Brady. Grandma once loudly exclaimed to Brady, "YOU ARE MY FAVORITE GRANDCHILD!" in front of a large group of grandchildren. She adored him and he felt the same towards her. She held his hands, hugged him tight, and sat close to him at every visit. Brady does not have living grandparents and she has been his connection to that missing relationship for our entire marriage. I wanted him to be there but also could not make arrangements to leave the kids with such short notice.
I missed so much at home, but loved getting the updates. Owen threw a tantrum because Brady would not let him wear this costume to bed. He suddenly looks gigantic to me, but it could be the padded muscles.
My soccer team went up against Waimea, the team that has beat them repeatedly this season, in the AYSO championship. Kate scored the goal that took the team to 3-2, and then drove the ball up the field and had two spectacular assists, ending the game with a 5-2 score. Brady captured her game-changing goal and I was so proud of these girls.
At the ward carnival, my kids "won" fish. Yipee. Fish. Again. Before I left, I picked up food, a tank, and decor so the poor things had a home outside of a drinking glass. Brady made the tank 10xs cooler by adding two glow-in-the-dark fish.
The kids ate out after hearing about all my good dining in Utah.
Sunday, they ran laps and sent me pictures that made me want to jump through the phone and join them for an hour. The green belt makes the happiest memories.
Monday night, they carved pumpkins. I was happy to be on my end of the camera for that one, but loved their enthusiasm and results. I will also remind readers that I've done the pumpkin thing alone the last two years so I pull my carving/painting weight.
It was the first time Zachary has ever touched the "pumpkin guts":
...and the first time we got Owen a pumpkin of his own. I found these beauties at Walmart for $10 each--a steal compared to the Big Save $17 a piece sticker. I felt good about it until I went to Utah and they were 3 for $10. Amazon Prime?
Owen's vampire teeth:
Kate's hair:
Zachary's "Boo":
Well done, kids! Well done, Dad!
I stepped off my red eye fully armed with 3 hours of sleep--maybe more! It was the best red eye experience of my life (no kids + exit row). After driving to Cory and Kristen's and getting in a solid Peloton workout on her bike, I met with Natalie for lunch and window shopping. Her trip was especially short and I was anxious for time with her. We met up with Mom and Dad when they arrived a couple hours later, and then went to the viewing. I was apprehensive about attending the viewing--of course I wanted to see family but the idea of chatting it up around a dead body creeps me out. I'm so glad I committed to the entire night, and I caught up with aunts, uncles, and other family. We shared memories of my grandmother and I was able to say goodbye again. I left feeling drained and also somehow rejuvenated.
I was especially touched that Brady's parents came to the viewing.
I snuck in a (freezing cold) bike ride with Kristen before the funeral the next day, where we put down 18 miles. I kept making Kristen wait on me so it's time to start biking more.
I was prepared for heavy emotion that accompanies funerals, but I haven't experienced loss of someone close up to this point. I felt waves of grief intermixed with love and happiness for her to be released from her deafness and dementia. I accompanied her favorite hymn ("If You Could Hie to Kolob"), listened to each of her 13 kids give a memorial, and participated in a song medley with the other grandkids and great-grandkids. I am the third oldest grandchild of 76. This woman has a lot of people that love her.
Six years in Provo enabled me and Brady to get close to my grandma. She'd sit close--right on the arm of the chair, and look straight at us while we talked. She made us feel like the most important people in her life. She wanted to know about everyone and everything in my life, and often followed up on specific conversations we had a full 6 months to a year later. She was so good at listening, showing interest in details with her feedback.
She loved architecture and drew up a four page explanation and sample plans with her ideas for a house on our lot several years ago when we were starting the building process. She and Brady talked for hours on end about projects they both had going.
I loved playing piano duets with her. She told me I would bless lives with my music. She encouraged me to learn the organ and play in my congregation. She asked me to play for her many times we visited and sat by my side on the bench. She taught me lessons as a child when I was in town and encouraged me to teach piano as a high school student, giving me strategies, student incentives, and asking about student progress.
Traveling with her was exhausting. She insisted on reading every sign, taking every offshoot, and studying maps. She knew about every place in America, it seemed. The joke was if George Washington blew his nose there, we stopped to read and take pictures.
As the dementia took over, it was tragic to watch her brilliant memory fade. There were snippets, even at the end. "There's something special about your oldest child," she said at our second-to-last visit, unable to articulate or remember his adoption but certainly remembering it was significant.
She had her master's degree in education and loved that I was a teacher.
She worked hard her whole live, managing apartments, building townhomes, and teaching piano for 34 years.
I loved being at the funeral with my parents. My mom was especially sad. I loved holding her hand and sharing hugs.
The gravesite service was beautiful. I was a pallbearer with several other representatives from most of the families. I was so humbled and honored to participate.
My dad pointed out Debbie's grave marker. I remember her funeral vividly.
Grandma's sister Bona talked to me, reminding me that she held Zachary in the temple when he was 7 months old.
We were so lucky with beautiful weather. The next day, it snowed and was chilly and windy for the remainder of the trip.
After the drive back from Nephi, we met up as part of the family and ate at Zupa's, swapping stories and laughs. We headed to Emily's house for the rest of the night.
Sunday snow.
I attended church with Cory and Kristen's family, then went to Heber for their annual Edwards Eerie Edibles.
All these people I love!
Dad invited me to join with him and Grandpa in a frisbee golf game on Monday morning. The snow stopped us in our tracks and we switched to bowling. Mindy and Emily's family joined up, and we spent time cheering on each other's gutter balls. I was lucky and had 4 strikes in my first game--a record 141 for me (I think...bowling means very little to me so I don't know). I followed it up with a 76 the next game. See? I wasn't kidding when I said the first game was lucky.
Grandpa Nufer is also suffering from dementia. He does not know who I am but still shows me love. He also has his sense of humor and love for small children.
I loved watching his confidence and bowling shuffle step.
Dad cheers after a strike.
I think I look very similar to both of these men.
I want to remember this always.
He couldn't remember which one was his ball, and Dad patiently and gently reminded him each round where he liked to stand and which ball felt best to him.
Kevin had a self-deprecating sense of humor about the whole event.
After bowling, I took Mindy and Bobo out to lunch. I miss Kneaders. Brady and I bought it every other Saturday night through college. It was $12.42 and we had it in our weekly budget.
We spent much of the rest of the afternoon at Grandma's. I visited with Emily and her kids before they left, as well as getting Grandma's recommendations for books.
I also snuck in time with Kristen, Rachel, and Elise. It wasn't enough time! Love these girls.
Kristen and the girls generously dressed me up for a Halloween dinner that night at my Aunt Brynn's house. It is the most Halloweeny I've ever looked. Pale face (with a really tan neck), spider jewels, a vampire dress, and very long hair. Thank you for the transformation!
Rachel scared me out of my boots in this creepy costume as I walked around the corner.
I saw most of my extended family on the Nufer side, making this the most relatives I have ever seen in one Utah trip--and in record time.
My cousins Sarah, Jacob, and his wife McKay as characters from "Stranger Things."
Of course a photo with my Aunt Kathie (aka Insta Gram) and Uncle Lee (Iron Chef).
Smartie Pants Rebecca and Eric, and pirate Kev:
Cousin Michelle:
Cousin Andy, who stayed with us in Kauai a few months ago:
My favorite costumes of the night were from my grandparents. My Grandma Nufer looks 60.
Plenty of games--loved watching my grandma get in on the action, and my competitive father and his brother.
The trip ended as quickly as it started. The flight home was so long, but without anyone to care for it was a breeze. I was so excited to see Brady and the kids who picked me up with "Welcome Home" signs. This trip helped me recognize all the love in my various family situations--Nufers, extended Nufers, Edwards, extended Richards, and my own kids and husband. So many people to love. So grateful.
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